the moment they see me, they are like 'who the fuck is she?". they think I'm a junkie. they don't take me seriously. what's the fucking point? so many years dealing with this shit, being poor - nobody listens to you. dealing with racists doctors who gaslight me every time i try to say how bad it is. i mean nothing. my pain is nothing to them. my life is nothing. i'm done fighting, proving, feeling bad for taking too much time.